• Bessern Community

How to start a Positive Self-Talk Habit


So what exactly is self-talk? Positive self-talk is affirming and supporting phrases within your thoughts whereas negative self-talk involves using judgmental and blaming phrasing in your thoughts. When last did you reflect on your inner dialogue. Are you critical of yourself? Are you supportive of yourself?. From my perspective it is something we do throughout the day. Be it out loud or silently we often self-talk without even realizing we are doing it.

Brain science shows that the conversations we have in our heads have a big impact on our emotions, views of ourselves and our actions. If people were to use more positive self-talk they are also likely to feel better about themselves. In contrast, people who engage in negative self-talk are more likely to have a negative self-image.

The idea here is not to put a unicorn, rainbow filter on everything and convince yourself that everything in life is oh just so wonderful - It’s unrealistic and can lead to lack of productivity, if we try to always have a positive view. Instead, positive self-talk helps you to see things holistically (as a whole) and not just focus on the negative aspects. By using more positive self-talk, you are more likely to build confidence, resilience and self-esteem, feel more in control of events in your life which will help in achieving your goals.

Positive self-talk kicks in once we begin to notice our negative thoughts. Positive self-talk, as you may have guessed, is the opposite of negative self-talk. It’s not about being narcissistic or deceiving ourselves. It’s more about showing yourself self-compassion and understanding for who you are and what you’ve been through. Positive self-talk sees our internal narrative switching to ideas like ‘I can do better next time’ or ‘I choose to learn from my mistakes, not be held back by them’. These internal narratives are an essential part for our belief that we can always learn and grow.

Some research supports the idea that positive self-talk can help with disorders like anxiety and depression. This is because negative self-talk has been widely linked with disorders such as depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.


Swapping self-talk to positive has also been shown to mediate some promising results with young people diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. What this tells us is that positive self-talk can be a tool to help overcome these disorders through correcting the bias towards negative thoughts and beliefs we might hold about ourselves.


7 Examples of Positive Self-Talk Statements and Phrases

If positive self-talk is foreign territory to you it might be difficult to know where to begin. In terms of effective positive statements and phrases to try, It’s important to understand that not everyone’s positive self-talk will be the same. By virtue of that you should try a few different approaches to find the ones that ultimately work for you. What is essential is to create a routine habit for positive self-talks.


Here are 7 self-talks to get you started on your journey:

  1. It took courage to attempt doing this and I am proud of myself for trying.

  2. It wasn’t the outcome I hoped for but I learned a lot about myself.

  3. I might still have some ground to cover but am proud of how far I have already come.

  4. I am capable and I can get through this.

  5. Tomorrow is a chance to try again, with the lessons learned from today.

  6. I can learn from this situation and grow as a person.

  7. I cannot control what other people think, say or do. I can only control myself.

For more information on the benefits of Positive Self-Talk read this article published by Forbes.

I am a firm believer in that there is always room to learn and grow as a person. Start your journey one step at a time, remember to enjoy the process and more importantly make a habit of practicing Positive self-talk. Be the change you want to see.



Fernanda Martinez

Productivity & Wellbeing Director

Check more info on our program to develop resilience in teams