- Bessern Community
The thin line between Balancing Relationships and Mental Well-being in college
Relationships form a crucial part of every individual's life right from the day thy are born. Whether it is being a son /daughter, brother /sister, aunt /uncle, friend, colleague, boyfriend /girlfriend or husband /wife every step of life increases the number of mutual relationships we indulge in. Each relationship holds a different meaning in our lives and binds us into the give and take process. There are undeniably, both good and bad relationships. The good ones help you grow in faith, trust and respect while the bad ones hinder your emotional and mental state of mind.
As we grow older and enter into college we see new people, new faces and build new relationships. The extroverts start off their journey with spontaneous conversations while the introverts start interacting with other restrained individuals. Over a course of time as we get to know people deeply we choose the ones who we would like to surround ourselves with and the ones that would make up our inner circle in college. In this 'Big Ocean' these friends become our chosen family. College forces you to become a 'Jack of All Trades'. Most students are juggling between 15 credit hours a semester, they are involved in campus organizations, extracurricular activities, part-time jobs and work diligently to maintain a social life. While doing so it often gets tough to give the same attention and time to each and every relationship. We tend to choose one person over another without realizing it.
Furthermore if we ever get into an argument with one person when we are in the process of becoming close to another we tend to distance ourselves from the former in order to avoid any fights or arguments. This is where the disbalance comes in to place. Our closest friend might get jealous of someone else we are giving more time and attention to and we might just overlook it as a simple matter. However in the long run this disbalance tends to affect us both mentally and emotionally. When we ignore someone for a long time we tend to give them the idea that another person holds more value than them. And this idea makes them find someone else who they can share their thoughts and feelings with. Both the parties get emotionally triggered due to this act and in a short span of time find themselves emotionally drained.
It takes the efforts of two people to Build the relationship but the actions of just one to begin Hindering the same relationship.
Thus, we must always learn to be clear with our priorities and focus on people that matter the most to us. If we find our self in a cage or getting into such a disbalance we must let the people who are very close to us know about the situation. This will avoid any misunderstandings and make the relationship strong.
3 Tips to follow to maintain your well being and relationships
Communicate: Clear communication is a life saver when it comes to any problematic situation. By simply communicating with your friend, colleague or boyfriend what it is like to be in college and how you like to get work done a certain way can help them understand why you might not be spending time with them during a busy week. This information could open up the doors for them to show their support around those times and ease the stress you might feel. During a misunderstanding choose to communicate and clear things out instead of avoiding it. This will go a long way in supporting both your mental health and your relationships.
2. Take Responsibility of your time: You need to take an honest look at where you’re spending your time. Every single time you spend 2 hours scrolling Facebook instead of hanging out with your partner, friend or colleague what you’re saying is that Facebook is more important than your relationship. Remember, every time you say yes to something, you’re also saying no to something else. So be careful about what you’re saying yes to.
3. Make sure the time you're spending is quality time: This means that when you're with your partner/ friend or colleague you are giving them complete attention, getting involved in everything they wish to share with you and sharing your time, ideas and feelings as well. Your mind is not wandering off or feeling guilty about not doing another activity at the same time.
Remember balancing relationships for us GenZ, is more than just hanging out - it is a matter of balance in our mental health. It is our choice to take action - we are a generation with choices.
Digital Communication Associate
Check this video on the human skills to practice for GenZ